When Captivity Ends
by Viggly Vigglesome
Summary: Following on from I DO....totally Skate.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one: Actions

"Yes I remember"

"When you get to safety I want you to radio me and tell me that story" Kate never took her eyes off of sawyer, his face now screwing up into that tell tale frown, some thing was really wrong. Kate had come to associate those lines in his brow with something serious. He always glared, that was true but that stare, that look he was giving her now, that meant something deeper. They were free now, they had their ticket out of here, yet he was looking at her as if she was a traitor, like he hated her, and she couldn't stand it. They could be free, she needed to be free, and she knew he did too, then what was wrong? Why were his eyes telling her otherwise? Looking at him now it was hard to see the man he had been yesterday, caring, sensual and loving. It was a side of him she knew was there but had never seen. Kate took great pride that it had been her to make him show his sensitive side. And how he'd held her after they made love was perfect. The sex- it was primal, they both knew that. The need to be close to each to another person, to feel human again, that final exchange proved that it was more though, there was raw emotion behind it, feelings they shared, that neither could keep to themselves any longer. And he'd said it hadn't he "I love you too", he really did feel it. And he said it. Sawyer, the man who took joy in shooting a bear and who used all his macho bullshit to push people away, that man had truly opened up and showed himself to her, it was amazing. But here they were, just a few minutes after they'd woken in each others arms, a look of hatred in his eyes.

"I can't, I can't" she blared down the walkie. "I can't leave you". Was she still talking to jack? He didn't know. Her eyes were still on him, piercing his, like she was trying to give him some kind of message, a reassurance that this display of pure emotion was for him, not jack. Not the man everyone knew she felt something for. Not him. Anyone but him. If it had been anyone else he'd have taken this as part of her selfless nature, the need to keep everyone safe, but was it? Maybe she felt more for Jack than she did him. I mean, look at the comparisons; the doc is the good guy, he helps people, as far as the islanders are concerned he's their goddamn hero, how could he compare to that? How could the low life murdering con man compare to that? She said she loved me. That's enough. He told himself. Twice. Twice she'd confessed her feelings, once with words the other with the most sensual kiss he'd ever experienced. But maybe, maybe it was just the intensity of the situation, what if she was only showing this cause she thought he'd be dead. Cause she wouldn't have to deal with it. With him. Still he held her gaze, trying to read her. "DAMN IT KATE RUN"  
She just stood there, frozen. She dropped her eyes from sawyers, he was questioning her, she could tell that from here and it hurt her. She needed to talk to him, explain her reaction to jack, that she wasn't crying for him, for the doctor being kept in reasonably good conditions, the man who refused to help her save sawyer. Did the freedom extend to him? Would Pickett let sawyer leave in exchange for Ben's life? "Jack" she screamed down the radio "Jack come back…JACK? Jack answer me…JACK???" she could feel his eyes on her; she could picture the pain in them, but she needed to know if he was free too, free to run along side her- with her, if only he could trust. All she heard was static. She wasn't going to take this risk. She couldn't leave. Not without him, the times they'd been separated, the feeling in the pit of her stomach when Pickett had pulled him from her, it nearly killed her. She wouldn't go through that again. Raising her elbow to shoulder height she launched it over her right shoulder, feeling the crack as it connected with her captors face. Tossing the radio aside she launched herself at the gun that had slid across the cage floor, the site of such happiness only hours previously. Picking it up she turned to face Pickett, who still had his own gun trained on sawyers head. The next crack she heard was one of a gunshot, echoing throughout the jungle, the sound of what she had just done rebounding off the cage bars to her ears, a ringing reminder her actions.

He watched her, the determination in her face grow as she mustered the force to knock out the other with the gun on her. As her elbow smacked into his face he could see the regret almost immediately flare within her, if time wasn't so brief here he would have sworn she'd have stopped and helped him up, apologize and explain, instead she leapt across the cage grasping the handgun with both hands. He wanted to stop her, he so wanted desperately to save her from the torment the next second's decision would cause her, take the responsibility for himself, but it was too late. He turned to the man at his side, just in time to see Pickett's falling form. No longer a man, simply a body, lost of all that makes a person human, all emotion and all spirit. Sawyer felt no regret, this was probably better than what his life could have been, the man had lost his wife, the woman he loved. What could anyone's life truly be like after that? Sawyer lifted his eyes to Kate, standing in the cage arm raised, a straight expression, she hadn't moved. Not an inch. She just remained, staring to where Pickett had been. Finger still squeezing the trigger. It's a good job that wasn't an automatic he thought, else there'd be a blaze of bullets flying right now. Then she broke. Her face scrunching into one so wrought with emotion he thought she'd explode, he waited for the tears, for his sign that she was approachable, that he could comfort her without being pushed away. Instead she walked over to the bars, sliding down them and clinging to her knees. Stifling her sobs into the already soaked denim of her jeans. Sawyer entered the cage with no concerns for letting too much of himself be shown, how she felt about him no longer mattering, how she felt about jack not important, he didn't care about anything other than making her better, bringing back the strong Kate, the Kate that would save them both. He needed her, but for now she needed him more. He bobbed down infront of her. Taking her hands from her legs and holding them in his, thumbs stroking the back of her wrists. "Freckles, shhh" he heard the sadness in his own voice and loathed himself for being so weak, he felt her hands grasp for his. Tightening her grip. "I ain't leavin freckles. Come on now, that son-of-a-bitch got what was coming to him, shoulda known better than"  
"Don't" she interrupted, a broken whisper from within her own tight embrace.

She'd shot him. She didn't understand how she could be so remorseless, so uncaring. She had taken a mans life, another man who would never take another breath because of her, yet she felt no real regret, as far as she was concerned she'd done what she had to. What was needed. She hated being so cold, the type of person who could obliterate a soul and feel nothing but the gentle dripping of the rain, running down her face and off onto chest. Or were they tears. She knew nothing, stood there arms still holding the gun upright. Towards the space that should have been occupied by a life, but was empty nonetheless. As she slid down the bars she felt only relief. Sawyer was alive. Stood there with a more creased face than she though possible but breathing, she watched intently as each breath was drawn into his lungs and slowly released. He was alive, burying her face in her jeans she allowed herself to let go, to release all the emotion she felt at the past few minutes. He could have been gone, left her alone forever, instead she'd killed another. She felt him close to her; she could feel his breathing, and the essence he brought with him, that electricity that surrounds him. Like an aura. Suddenly he was holding her arms, soothing her tears. Telling her Pickett had deserved to be shot. No one deserves to be shot.  
"Don't". She heard him release the air he was holding in a controlled sigh, one not loaded, just him changing tact. "Let's go", gentle pulling on her arms he raised them both to standing, and his hand on her chin raised her eyes to his. "Come on baby." Kate looked around her, tentively at the bars, this was where she deserved to be, caged and controlled. A murdered belongs behind bars. Pleading him with her eyes, she knew she couldn't leave- she wasn't strong enough.

Sawyer saw in her eyes that she couldn't make it out. She was exhausted, in all manners of the word. He scooped her up into his arms, holding her close and resting her head under his chin, feeling her bury herself in his neck. He made toward the door. He could get her out of this camp, but after that was mystery. All he knew was that he had to get her safe, if it took all his will.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Breaking

He walked; Kate still tucked in his arms, out of the cage and towards the enclosure, the only direction he knew- to where they had been working for the past few days. His thoughts immediately darted to the day he had kissed her, how he hadn't been able to stop himself, how he had just needed to feel her skin under his, her lips pressed firmly onto his own, and his hands on her. Watching her raise the pick once more he had seen how damaged she was. She had looked so lost, so exhausted.

He looked at the broken form in his arms, just like now. Stopping his determined march he stared at her for a few more seconds. They couldn't go on like this. He quickly scouted out for a place to rest, they needed to be undercover- jack had guaranteed them an hour but what was he really gonna do? He was in a theatre, and you couldn't second guess these bastards.

Finally Sawyer spotted a cluster of branches hanging firmly from the trunk of an elderly tree; all intertwined creating a semi covered cave-type structure, like the one on their island. 'Oh' sawyer thought with remembrance, he'd almost forgotten that they were on their very own Alcatraz for a minute there. And how the hell was he going to get them off? Could they find a boat, a sub?

That could wait he told himself, all that mattered was snapping Kate out of this trance. She needed to see that what she did was right. Necessary for survival. He tried to put her on the ground, remove her arms from his neck but she had them locked in place. A death grip. She had her body on the floor now, but still she was clinging to him refusing to loosen her grip.

"You tranna choke me freckles?" Sawyer drawled trying to put up the visage of mischief; instead he must have come across as accusing he thought, because she dropped her arms almost immediately.

"Well if you wanna keep your hands on me-"

"Sorry" she interrupted him, shrugging his comment off, turning her back on him and facing the foliage surrounding their newly found 'shelter'.

"You ain't got anything to be sorry for. You can wrap your pretty little self around me any time you like" he smirked, trying desperately now to lighten her mood. Nervously he sat next to her laying form staring at her back willing her to face him. He'd do anything to see her flicker a smile, to know that she hadn't completely fallen apart. That she was still in there. That the Kate he had come to love wasn't gone forever- not to save him.

Not because of him.

Kate didn't want to let go. Ever. She was happy in his arms, moving through the jungle. With her head on his chest she could hear his heart beat and that was the only thing she needed. Not water, not rest, not the psycho-analysis she knew she was in for; just to know that he was still with her. That neither of them had run. Only he had hadn't he, he was going to DIE. And in the end that's the ultimate running, running from life itself. He was willing to leave her here completely alone and it angered her more than anything. She knew why he'd done it; he wanted to keep her safe, keep her alive and living but if he couldn't see that without him that she couldn't handle this, then he was blinder than she thought. How dare he contemplate leaving her. She dropped her arms from his neck.

"_You tranna choke me freckles?"_ He'd like that wouldn't he.

Sawyer couldn't take this any more. It was driving him insane. She was just lying there, she hadn't moved - she wasn't asleep he could tell that from her breathing, but still she just laid there. He stood and made his way to the edge of the enclosure, looking out; needing a new view. Then she spoke. Just a few words, and barely above a whisper, but she spoke. She's not completely broken then Sawyer thought with the highest feelings of relief.

"I thought I lost you"

"Told ya before feckless, I ain't going anywhere" he spoke equally as soft, soothing her with his words but also wanting her to know that he was here for her. No matter what.

"That right?" she said with her disbelief visible as she slowly raised herself to his level from the earth.

"I said it didn't I"

"Oh. Yea, course. And YOU; you're just so trustworthy" She said mockingly "So how were you planning to stay when you were dead?" She was pissed. He looked in her eyes and saw hurt. He didn't understand this "I told you sawyer. Not to give in, to fight." Tears threatened to spill in her eyes "how could you do that to me?"

"What was I supposed to do? Let him kill you? That wasn't gonna happen sweetheart" he moved closer to her, close enough to reach out, touch her. But she'd reject him- he knew it. And he wasn't sure if he could take that.

"What and to watch you die was better was it?" she was almost shouting. She'd moved her body closer to his. He could feel her warm breath on his face, teasing. A reminder of the happiness shared only hours ago "was it?"

"Of course it was. It came down to a simple choice; you or me, live or die. And hell, that was no choice at all" he looked her in the eyes, trying to gage a response but she was unreadable, breaking eye contact she moved over to the trunk of the tree looking at the ground. "What's this about freckles?" How could she be so ungrateful? He had shown her how much he felt for her. He was going to pay the highest price for her life. And he paid it gladly; so long as he knew she'd be able to get free once he was done and he did- he did know. Cause he had faith in her. He'd always known what she was from the moment he met her; strong, fierce, wild and filled to the brim with passion. _"I've known girls like you"-_ that was a lie. He'd never known anyone like her. Now he knew her though, knew her spirit and he had faith in that. Apparently she had non in him though. And that broke his heart, he had thought for the first time that he had found the one who would understand him, be able to look past his self hatred and pain and see his inner humanity and his loyalties, to show him how to feel without hate. He thought she was that one. Now he knew he was wrong.

"Look Kate, last night –"she spun round at this, still avoiding eye contact "It happened, how about we just leave it at that", so that's how he really felt? Despite everything he wasn't willing to open his heart to her. Could he not see why she was angry? That the thought of a life without him, just wasn't life at all. That he was her reason for being, her reason to stay. We'll she'd be damned if she was gonna force him.

"Well that's that then"

"Yeah"

A memory that had seemed so distant stirred in both now, another exchange where together so much was left unsaid because neither was brave enough. So they both stayed put. Simply sitting there; separated, regretting- heartbroken.


End file.
